'Womanifesto' - Alison Lambert
Copyright Hecate Press, English Department 1992.
Hecate. St. Lucia: 1992. Vol. 18, Iss. 1; pg. 105.
by Alison Lambert When I'm writing I'm not Mills and Booning in his armsWhen I'm writing I'm not learning 30 ways to please a manWhen I'm writing I'm not dreaming up new ways with chickenWhen I'm writing I'm not colour co-ordinating my wardrobeWhen I'm writing I'm not trying to hold my tummy inWhen I'm writing I'm not raising model childrenWhen I'm writing I'm not taking his son to football trainingWhen I'm writing I'm not decorating his weekendWhen I'm writing I'm not getting my legs waxedWhen I'm writing I'm not pretending to be 20 years youngerWhen I'm writing I'm not apologising for being 20 years olderWhen I'm writing I'm not keeping him off the streetsWhen I'm writing I'm not distributing AmwayWhen I'm writing I'm not vacuuming the shag pile carpetWhen I'm writing I'm not hoping he'll phoneWhen I'm writing I'm not feeling guilty about the washing upWhen I'm writing I'm not cooking apricot barramundi caprice for his bossWhen I'm writing I'm not worried if the grey is showingWhen I'm writing I'm not listening to some man talk sexist crapWhen I'm writing I'm not worried if I haven't washed my hairWhen I'm writing I'm not wishing my tits were like hersWhen I'm writing I'm not going to the shops - againWhen I'm writing I'm not thrilled that he'd kill me if he knewWhen I'm writing I'm not even aware that I'm smallWhen I'm writing I'm not hanging back while he speaksWhen I'm writing I'm not in tears if he doesn't understandWhen I'm writing I'm not pretending it's fantastic if it's notWhen I'm writing I'm not apologising for having my periodWhen I'm writing I'm not apologising for not having my periodWhen I'm writing I'm not surviving on two lettuce leaves and a bananaWhen I'm writing I'm not at the doctor's for tranquillisersWhen I'm writing I'm not getting my beauty sleepWhen I'm writing I'm not Mrs SomebodyWhen I'm writing I'm not anxious that he won't like itWhen I'm writing I'm not serving everyone else firstWhen I'm writing I'm not a nice little woman, not at all
------------Reproduced from online source without permission, but with no ill intent. I merely wish to share something awesome discovered amidst essay research. I think having looked at the writings of Joanna Russ, read several discussions around the publication of female writers and related difficulties, that this piece (like Russ' work) remains scarily relevant today, in 2011.