Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Metaphorical Cotton Wool

There are a fair few people surrounding me online and offline that are going through stuff at the moment. I'm sure there are others I'm unaware of, but I've had several conversations in recent months in which I've applied what I tend to call metaphorical cotton wool. I thought that I'd blog about what I mean by this a little, hoping that it might be of benefit to others. 

What do I mean when I say 'metaphorical cotton wool'? As a metaphor, it describes the mental and emotional act of wrapping your hurts in cotton wool the way you might physically. The idea is comfort and gentleness. 

I find that whenever I am feeling upset, if I am struggling with something,whether it is in myself or involving others, that applying ruthless gentleness is often the best thing I can do for myself, often benefiting others too. It's a pause in the action. It's like wrapping yourself in a large cocoon of soft cotton wool, where you focus on breathing, calmness and mentally reassuring yourself.

How it works with more than one person is that if the parties all apply the rule of gentleness, of applying this metaphorical cotton wool, there is a space of listening and calmness where concerns can be shared, resolution and reassurance sought, misunderstandings and miscommunication clarified.  

Gentleness is mental cotton wool, and like real cotton wool it has so many uses and applications. I have never found approaching something with gentleness to make a situation worse, it's one of those things that I rely on now as an intrinsic part of who I am. It's also something that I give away as much as possible, sharing my experience of it hoping others may find it valuable. I have many conversations about many things, but invariably they all relate to gentleness, to this notion of creating internal and external spaces that are safe and inviting, where hurts can heal and individual(s) can grow. 

My way of application tends to follow this pattern, just as an example: 

  • taking a deep breath, several of them. 
  • remembering that I am awesome
  • remembering that the other person (if there is one) is also awesome
  • appreciating the world through the perspective of others

It's a small plan, but I find it effective as a starting point, and moving on from that as I can best judge for myself at the time. 

Here's to ruthless gentleness, to respect and to communication. 

I'd be interested in other people's comments on how this or something like it works...