Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Reminder to self: (and for you too if you'd like one)

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I stumbled across this via my google reader stint today (still over 1000+ entries behind... *ahem*), and it's particularly apt at the moment.

We often treat our own selves like our worst enemies, within that context it's often for the benefit of someone who's not bringing the awesome to a mutual space. Being reminded to treat yourself like your own best friend, with love and honour and honesty is important.

Putting this idea of being my own best friend into practice and letting the universe remind me of it at will has been an incredible shift for my self esteem and how I see myself in the world. My personal measures of success have all increased significantly -- financially, emotionally, employment, study, everything.

Treat yourself as you'd treat your best friend.

The Elephants Always Hunt In Packs

This may seem like a funny title for a blog post, since elephants don't really hunt and they live in herds and not packs. But real elephants aside, today we're talking about metaphorical elephants. The metaphor in in question expands on the common phrase 'the elephant in the room' which usually refers to something almost obvious, but is often overlooked either deliberately or through lack of awareness of the situation.

So, there's a metaphorical room, with metaphorical elephants. With me so far? The elephants represent those issues and aspects of culture at play that can be obvious to some people and invisible to others. When I say that the elephants hunt in packs, I mean that there's never just one issue at play, there's a number of complex dynamics and they all intermingle and influence one another.

I find it's a useful metaphor because it points to the way in which things become embedded in our everyday consciousness; in other words they become invisible. If one elephant becomes visible, you can be sure that several others are lurking. When you look at an issue, any kind of issue it won't be hanging around on it's lonesome, you can be sure that some friends will be hanging about.

What I find most useful about this whole thing is that often looking at the interrelated conditions means that the original issues make more sense. You can see how the effects impact on other surrounding things and take that into account if there are actions you want to take. Nothing that is said or done happens in isolation. 

Much of what I'm saying here borders on (if not is wholly contained within) the realm of the obvious... but that doesn't mean it's not worth saying and revisiting. 

The invisible elephants in the room always hunt in packs, and even if you can see a whole bunch of elephants, it's always possible that others are hiding - that's worth keeping in mind too.  `

 

Recent TED talks that I've appreciated:

Kiran Bedi has a surprising resume. Before becoming Director General of the Indian Police Service, she managed one of the country's toughest prisons -- and used a new focus on prevention and education to turn it into a center of learning and meditation. She shares her thoughts on visionary leadership at TEDWomen.

http://www.ted.com/talks/zainab_salbi.html

Anything is possible... 

 

At TEDWomen, Tony Porter makes a call to men everywhere: Don't "act like a man." Telling powerful stories from his own life, he shows how this mentality, drummed into so many men and boys, can lead men to disrespect, mistreat and abuse women and each other. His solution: Break free of the "man box."

http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

Let's have a new man-box now...

 

Babble.com publishers Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman, in a lively tag-team, expose 4 facts that parents never, ever admit -- and why they should. Funny and honest, for parents and nonparents alike.

http://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos.html

Interesting to listen to. I feel lucky that my own circle of friends are far more open about the highs and lows of becoming parents. 

 

The future of green is local -- and entrepreneurial. At TEDxMidwest, Majora Carter brings us the stories of three people who are saving their own communities while saving the planet. Call it "hometown security."

http://www.ted.com/talks/majora_carter_3_stories_of_local_ecoactivism.html

Every small thing is part of a bigger thing and makes a difference. 

 

Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

This is who I am... I am enough and my vulnerability is my greatest tool for love and connection - just as Brené talks about here.  I swear it's like she can see into my brain and what's circling there... :)

 

Lesley Hazleton sat down one day to read the Koran. And what she found -- as a non-Muslim, a self-identified "tourist" in the Islamic holy book -- wasn't what she expected. With serious scholarship and warm humor, Hazleton shares the grace, flexibility and mystery she found, in this myth-debunking talk from TEDxRainier.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lesley_hazelton_on_reading_the_koran.html

Lesley speaks of poetry, of understanding and of seeking, of respect. This is a beautiful talk to listen to. 

 

In an intimate talk, Barry Schwartz dives into the question "How do we do the right thing?" With help from collaborator Kenneth Sharpe, he shares stories that illustrate the difference between following the rules and truly choosing wisely.

http://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_using_our_practical_wisdom.html

This was interesting. I think it has some merit but over simplifies some aspects of the way the world engages in society. However, I do agree that building wisdom is an important part of one's life. 

 

Artist Dianna Cohen shares some tough truths about plastic pollution in the ocean and in our lives -- and some thoughts on how to free ourselves from the plastic gyre.

http://www.ted.com/talks/dianna_cohen_tough_truths_about_plastic_pollution.html

This is food for thought... how big an issue plastic is only just begins to dawn on me, in a meaningful way. 

Link Salad: Recent (ish) links that came my way for your interest:

Talking Back Without Talking Back is an article by Maesy Angelina about a different approach to activism and how the act of having conversations that simply occur and continue encourages an overall shift. The strategy described herein has immense freedom in that there is no target audience "everyone is a participant" and the aim is to form a collective with a "shared understanding" and where there is no target group identified as the opponent. Very interesting and ties in nicely to the ideas that I keep encountering around the context that there is no group labelled 'them' but simply the acceptance that instead we are all an 'us'. 

Ragnell hits the nail on the head in her blog post 'Can You Be Prettier When You Cry?' discussing how we tend to blame pretty young actresses for their lack of acting talent. However, Jessica Alba discusses a different reason in an interview with Elle magazine that suggests instead that the fault lies with Hollywood and its directors hiring actresses based primarily on appearance. They encourage the actresses to act inside of that attractiveness mandate which effectively makes them flat, like greenscreen canvases where special effects and post production will erase any perceived imperfections. Meanwhile the audience is left wondering whether there was a character there at all, wondering why the actress so obviously 'phoned it in'. 

The Melbourne Feminist Collective is holding a Feminist Futures Conference which quite aside from the attractiveness of Melbourne, the event sounds interesting and I'd love to go if somehow money starts to grow on trees. The structure of the event looks to be just serious enough and just social and engaged enough to really appeal to me. I also like the broad areas of discussion outlined and the aims set out. 

Chally from Zero at the Bone starts of a stint writing for Bitch Magazine on Iconography in Literature. There are several posts in this series and all are thought provoking drawing the reader to consider deeply held assumptions about the everyday, privilege inherent in how we go about our lives unthinking and giving us a whole lot of new reading inspiration (not to mention a contemporary experience of what makes a text literature). I've been delighting in this series and I highly recommend it. 

Bminstral provides this amusing definition of polyamory that simultaneously makes many of us already poly giggle with understanding, and provide some minor measure of insight to those who perhaps are new to the concept: "Polyamorist (n): one whose life is characterised by a set of complex overlapping calendars and scheduling conflicts and, to a lesser extent, multiple loving relationships." It's not universally true of course, just one of those astute generalisations that has enough relevance to enough people who find it amusing. Like me :)

My partner is the director behind Rebel Empire Workshops, this video is what he and and a huge number of dedicated and inspirational volunteers put together for Worldcon 2010, taking a team of just over 20 performers to Melbourne to culminate many months of late nights, creative brainstorming sessions, arguments, tears, blood, a whole lot of sweat and dedication. 

Helen Mirren delights me so very much in her articulate and astute summation of Hollywood's obsession with worshipping at "the alter of the 18-25-year-old male and his penis". ABC writes an article here about the awards ceremony from which Mirren is quoted, while the YouTube clip of the event is here

Aimee from Hook and Eye on Imposter Syndrome, key quote: "If we can't talk ourselves aggressively up, do you think we might manage to stop talking ourselves down?" 

At Viva La Feminista Sally blogs for Summer Feminista about feminism and not-feminism and how sometimes it looks rather similar: Like (Un-Feminist) Mother, Like (Feminist) Daughter - "You don’t need the feminist label or a college degree to strive for women’s independence and feminist ideals. All my mother needed was three daughters to fight for, including one slightly obnoxious daughter who doesn’t let anything go. So call it whatever you want, just let it grow inside of you. I’ll keep calling it feminism and my mother probably won’t, and we’ll still agree more often than not."

News with Nipples gives us this rather apt description of how 'We've been pwned'. We are attached to this idea that we make our own decisions about a whole bunch of things. Sometimes that's true, and sometimes that's less true - or at least, guided a whole lot. This is well demonstrated in the above link.  

Cindy talks about her love/hate relationship with Wired Magazine and their representation of women on their covers in her post: An Open Letter to Wired Magazine, also including the magazine's response which was such that I thought I might actually become interested in the magazine. 

On a lighter and fascinating note, the Mimic Octopus doing amazing things to mimic other creatures and surrounds. Absolutely fascinating. 

Beppie at Hoyden About Town looks at Intersectionality and Privilege: Addressing the Squishy Bits, by discussing the fact that sometimes there is no clear or right answer that "sometimes, every “right” answer carries a little bit of wrong in it too."

Mona Eltahawy writes for the Star about being a Muslim feminist and what that means for her. Her article explores commonly held beliefs about both Muslim women and feminism and is well worth a read: 'Let me, a Muslim feminist, confuse you'

At Tranarchy, Asher Bauer details a must read post titled: 'Not  Your Mom's Trans 101' which looks at the idea of a Trans 101 and the way in which it often perpetuates cissexual supremacy within society. This is a brilliant article that really addresses cissexual privilege and highly recommend reading. Asher also discusses how irritating it is being advised on how better to be 'Man Enough' and uncovers a whole bunch of assumptions and privilege that go into that, often well intended but rather offensive desire to offer gender performance advice.  

Also on the topic of  trans, personal experience with gender and navigating a cissexist world, Red rants spectacularly about the hypocritical way in which people assume gender: Questions for cis people...

Katie Makkai, a veteran poetry slammer - defining the word "pretty". Powerful and really attacks the vicious culture cycles about this idea of girls and being pretty. Also following on from Katie's piece is this post from Don't Type Angry which articulates the sublime experience of being human with all it's imperfection, in the post 'You Are Not Beautiful Enough'.

And finally at the end of this epic link salad, something to think about, something to breathe in and out, something inspiring, something to live by (if you wish): Holstee: This is your LIFE.

 

Link Salad: Wikileaks is not Assange and Rape Culture Edition.

First of all to get the ball rolling, have this YouTube clip of the JFK speech outlining how imperative government transparency is, how governments should not fear the scrutiny of their people. I don't know why I'm surprised any more that at various points it appears that events and values an beliefs from 10, 20 even 30 years ago are more progressive than I find them in the present. If I had a TARDIS I'd go back in time to see... 

Please not that from this point forward, this post contains content that is potentially triggery in content, comments have potential for the same. 

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 Trigger Space
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This post is not actually about Wikileaks, but about Assange and the accusations of rape made against him. This is not to in any way detract from the work of Wikileaks, in actuality these points are not related. Let me emphasise that previous item: the points are not related.

BoingBoing are not often my choice of social justice voices or examples. However, on this occasion they draw together several links that specifically underline the core message of this link salad post: "we can support what Wikileaks does and question the timing and handling of these rape accusations, all while simultaneously NOT diving off a cliff into victim-blaming, slut-shaming, or any other shameful treatment of two women who—for all we know—really were sexually assaulted". I'm including this because it isn't often that a massively popular, pop culture and quasi mainstream blog takes on something like this and actually doesn't fuck it up beyond all recognition. 

This post by Kate Harding at Salon is one of the posts that BoingBoing links to above. Harding draws attention to what the determination to smear Assange's accusers really achieves, what it really shows about the rape culture that society globally embraces. 

Larvatus Prodeo blogs further still on the smear campaign against Assange's accusers, namely that "it's hard to smear someone... if no one thinks it's a smear". The scary no-win impact on rape culture is articulated well here.

I feel that at this point it's appropriate to follow up with Blue Milk's post on 'Who hears you when you speak about rape?'. That through public discourse the barriers to discussing  rape and sexual violence are lowered or raised depending on the nature of that discourse. 

One of the major things to occur online as a result of the accusations against Assange is the appalling lack of professionalism displayed by two reasonably significant news voices, namely Keith Olbermann and Michael Moore. The response to their unethical and dangerous behaviour was far more than they could have imagined. 

The internet as a protest medium? How could that possibly work?  These next set of links relate to the #MooreandMe twitter protest cooked up by Sady of Tiger BeatDown and Jaclyn Friedman. The biggest purpose of the campaign was to not be silent, to not let the topic fade from discussion, to not let the fervour for an apology and acknowledgement of wrongdoing die down. 

First, Kate Harding on 'Some shit I'm sick of hearing regarding rape and Assange'. This post clears up a few of the more ridiculous claims and myths floating around and also underlines how Wikileaks, Assange and the accusations against him are all separate and do not cancel one another out. 

The series of posts by Sady at Tiger Beatdown are profound, articulate, emotional and so vitally important. If you missed the entire campaign via twitter, this series of posts gives you some insight into the way in which twitter became a solid platform for protest and activism. 

Now there have been other awesome posts and round ups including signal boosts from various people, but perhaps one of the key posts to include here is the one posted at Millicent and Cara Fran looking closely at how #MooreandMe worked, including links to some of the other posts on the campaign.

Finally, just in case you missed the entire point of this, a comic by Fit and the Conniptions: One In Four

People far more articulate than me have said articulate, heartfelt, intelligent and any number of other type of posts on the subject of Wikileaks, Assange and the accusations of rape against him. If I manage to get together some brain and energy I'd like to write something more about the rape culture impact of this, but unsure that I'll manage it at this point. 

 

Vanilla Sex by A. D. Coleman

Knowing Beans

He made her wear them

all day tucked inside

white silk, smooth velvet—

thin, hard, fragrant, brown;

slightly rasping, they

slid down to gather

dampness, flavoring

slick heat, nestled there

till after dinner:

ready at last, brandy

by the fire, savor

of vanilla sex.

 

Reproduced without permission but with no ill intent. Published originally in Porcupine Literary Arts Journal, 2006. 

 

I share this not because this particular blog is intended to be about poetry - it isn't. However, one of the purposes of this blog is to express strongly my own self and my views and thoughts about the world through my eyes.  Sex positiveness is something I'm passionate about - sharing this poem ties into this idea of sex as something to be shared not behind whispers but with some sort of delighted juicy irreverence that is both ordinary and sublime all at once.  

 

'Womanifesto' - Alison Lambert

Copyright Hecate Press, English Department 1992. 
Hecate. St. Lucia: 1992. Vol. 18, Iss. 1; pg. 105. 

Womanifesto 
by Alison Lambert 

When I'm writing I'm not Mills and Booning in his arms

When I'm writing I'm not learning 30 ways to please a man

When I'm writing I'm not dreaming up new ways with chicken

When I'm writing I'm not colour co-ordinating my wardrobe

When I'm writing I'm not trying to hold my tummy in

When I'm writing I'm not raising model children

When I'm writing I'm not taking his son to football training

When I'm writing I'm not decorating his weekend

When I'm writing I'm not getting my legs waxed

When I'm writing I'm not pretending to be 20 years younger

When I'm writing I'm not apologising for being 20 years older

When I'm writing I'm not keeping him off the streets

When I'm writing I'm not distributing Amway

When I'm writing I'm not vacuuming the shag pile carpet

When I'm writing I'm not hoping he'll phone

When I'm writing I'm not feeling guilty about the washing up

When I'm writing I'm not cooking apricot barramundi caprice for his boss

When I'm writing I'm not worried if the grey is showing

When I'm writing I'm not listening to some man talk sexist crap

When I'm writing I'm not worried if I haven't washed my hair

When I'm writing I'm not wishing my tits were like hers

When I'm writing I'm not going to the shops - again

When I'm writing I'm not thrilled that he'd kill me if he knew

When I'm writing I'm not even aware that I'm small

When I'm writing I'm not hanging back while he speaks

When I'm writing I'm not in tears if he doesn't understand

When I'm writing I'm not pretending it's fantastic if it's not

When I'm writing I'm not apologising for having my period

When I'm writing I'm not apologising for not having my period

When I'm writing I'm not surviving on two lettuce leaves and a banana

When I'm writing I'm not at the doctor's for tranquillisers

When I'm writing I'm not getting my beauty sleep

When I'm writing I'm not Mrs Somebody

When I'm writing I'm not anxious that he won't like it

When I'm writing I'm not serving everyone else first

When I'm writing I'm not a nice little woman, not at all


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Reproduced from online source without permission, but with no ill intent. I merely wish to share something awesome discovered amidst essay research. I think having looked at the writings of Joanna Russ, read several discussions around the publication of female writers and related difficulties, that this piece (like Russ' work) remains scarily relevant today, in 2011.

Quotes are never a bad beginning...

Some quotes that I particularly like...

"If you ultimately respect yourself, everything you do will ultimately be respectable."
- Sarah Parker

"Two leaps per chasm is fatal"
- Ancient Chinese Proverb

"One must either be a work of art, or wear one."
- Oscar Wilde

"I'm not an artist, I'm a fucking work of art!"
- Marilyn Manson

"We are all of us in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"
- Oscar Wilde